{"title":"Our current collection of rude and sweary and not-so-sweary greetings cards and gifts","description":"\u003cp\u003eOur sweary, luxe, beautiful, hand drawn lettering greetings cards, advent calendars and gifts fly out of the store as fast as we can make them. Stock up on your swears today! \u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"you-glorious-bellend-greetings-card","title":"You glorious bellend greetings card","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou glorious bellend.\u003cbr\u003eSend this sweary greetings card to all the magnificent people in your life to tell them exactly how you feel about them. A bestseller. Probably because there are so many bellends in the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51172997136650,"sku":"10001","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/You_Glorious_Bellend_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778511777"},{"product_id":"muff-greetings-card","title":"Muff (buff) greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMuff (buff). \u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe detail on this sweary greetings card is amazing. Look closer. You'll see beautiful, fuzzy down on this exquisite, hand drawn lettering card.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51173111922954,"sku":"10007","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/Muff_Buff_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778515295"},{"product_id":"cock-greetings-card","title":"Cock greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCock. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLook closer at the K. Can you see three angles of the dangle on this exquisite hand drawn lettering sweary greetings card?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51173143216394,"sku":"10006","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/Cock_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778514678"},{"product_id":"whoop-de-fricking-doo-greetings-card","title":"Whoop de frickin' doo greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhoop de frickin' doo. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis slightly sweary greetings card works really hard for any life occasion. Weddings. New baby. New job.  Passing exams or driving tests. A new Guinness World Record. Book publication days. Divorce. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA big lottery or bingo win. Stock up so you have a beautiful card ready to go for any of life's celebratory moments.  \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51173154947338,"sku":"10003","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/Whoop_De-Frickin_Doo_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778512455"},{"product_id":"rude-and-sweary-christmas-advent-calendar","title":"Rude and sweary christmas advent calendar (blue)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCount down to Christmas with a festive, cheeky, profanity behind every window. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOur limited edition, unique, rude, sweary, luxe advent calendar is beautifully illustrated, contains hand drawn lettering and hidden, visual rudeness and double entendres. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe original rude advent calendar. Accept no imitations. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWarning, contains adult-themed humour. Not suitable for under 18s. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo plastic. No chocolate. All sauce.  \u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAccept no imitations!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 21.0cm x 29.7cm \/ 210mm x 297mm (A4)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAdvent Calendar: Responsibly sourced, 500gsm boxboard.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Green","offer_id":53288554332426,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Multicolor","offer_id":53288554365194,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gold","offer_id":53288554397962,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/rude_sweary_christmas_advent_calendar-blue.jpg?v=1782916114"},{"product_id":"muff-varsity-red-greetings-card","title":"Muff (varsity red) greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMuff (varsity red). \u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe detail on this sweary greetings card is amazing. Look closer. You'll see beautiful, fuzzy down on this exquisite, hand drawn lettering card.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51189102510346,"sku":"10008","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/Muff_Varsity_Red_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778515060"},{"product_id":"i-fucking-love-you-greetings-card","title":"I fucking love you greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI fucking love you. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis classic sweary greetings card works hard for any life occasion, or as an outburst of spontaneous love for the people you care about. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card. Stock up for special occasions, or impulsive moments. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51189770912010,"sku":"10002","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/I_fucking_love_you_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778511822"},{"product_id":"cockwomble-greetings-card","title":"Cockwomble greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCockwomble. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe all know one or more of these. And now you can buy a greetings card that celebrates their existence. One of our favourite portmanteaus. And it really confuses Americans and Canadians. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51203039691018,"sku":"10004","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/Cockwomble_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778514272"},{"product_id":"queen-of-cunts-pink-greetings-card","title":"Queen of Cunts greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eQueen of Cunts. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOne of our sweariest and most popular greetings cards celebrates those most epic, powerful of people. Bow down to them. Give them this card.  Bathe in their glory.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51261731537162,"sku":"10009","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/Queen_Of_Cunts-Sweary_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778515471"},{"product_id":"arse-greetings-card","title":"Arse greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eArse. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend this sweary greetings card to all the magnificent arses in your life to tell them exactly how you feel about them. They may be an arse. But they're  YOUR arse. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering sweary and rude luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51272515551498,"sku":"10005","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/Arse_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778514410"},{"product_id":"lets-make-bad-decisions-together-greetings-card","title":"Let’s make bad decisions together greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet's make bad decisions together. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eYou know those people who have your back at all times? Those who bring out the very best of the worst in us. Lifelong friends or partners. The perfect card for people who simply love you for your special kind of crazy. Tomorrow, we ride!!!  \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHand drawn lettering, funny, luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51407344075018,"sku":"10011","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/lets_make_bad_decisions_together_greetings_card.jpg?v=1778516235"},{"product_id":"you-beautiful-weirdo-greetings-card","title":"You beautiful weirdo greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou beautiful weirdo. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSend this not-so-sweary greetings card to the beloved weird ones in your life to tell them exactly how you feel about them. Oh and doesn't this card make you think about how many Watermelons you could potentially get down your T-shirt? Nope? Just me??\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering, funny, luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51407375106314,"sku":"10010","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/You_Beautiful_Weirdo_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778515910"},{"product_id":"youre-the-least-unlikeable-person-i-know-greetings-card","title":"You’re the least unlikeable person I know greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eYou’re the least unlikeable person I know. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOnly \u003cem\u003ereally\u003c\/em\u003e smart people buy this greetings card. Yes. That's you my friend. This greetings card comes with a free, imaginary trophy with the following imaginary engraving: \"I buy greetings cards that make people think and so the lovely people at Damn Fine Greetings gave me this imaginary trophy.\" Well done. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eHand drawn lettering, funny, luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51407447490826,"sku":"10012","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/You_re_The_Least_Unlikeable_Person_I_Know_Greetings_Card.jpg?v=1778516434"},{"product_id":"lets-drink-to-your-continued-existence-greetings-card","title":"Let's drink to your continued existence greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet's drink to your continued existence. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRaise a Martini, Matcha or Mug of Horlicks to your mostest favourite people with this greetings card. Cheers big ears! \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand drawn lettering, funny, luxe greetings card.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize: 10.5cm x 14.8cm \/ 105mm x 148mm (A6)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAll our cards are left blank inside so you can use them for any occasion and add your own unique messages. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eCards - 300gsm Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certified Tintoretto Gesso board. \u003cbr\u003eEnvelopes - 100% recycled post-consumer waste.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Damn Fine Greetings","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51410940363018,"sku":"10014","price":3.5,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0894\/3498\/0618\/files\/mockup_drink.jpg?v=1751023865"},{"product_id":"chaos-and-cake-greetings-card","title":"Chaos and cake greetings card","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChaos and cake. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA not-so-sweary greetings card for people surrounded by chaos, or for those who cause it. 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Accept no imitations!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWarning, contains adult-themed humour. Not suitable for under 18s. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo plastic. No chocolate. 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