A pie chart showing the results of a survey asking whether UK adults use the spelling Knobhead or Nobhead. The results show that 80% use Knobhead with a K and 20% use Nobhead with a N.

Is it Nobhead or Knobhead? The great British public have their say.

Ok. Let's try to settle this argument once and for all.

When creating our latest batch of sweary greetings cards we discussed how to spell the word knobhead. Or is it nobhead?

For those unfamiliar with the word, Knobhead / Nobhead is commonly used British slang for an annoying person and it is frequently used as a term of endearment. It's a Portmanteau. A mash up of two words. Basically, you're calling someone a penis head. Or the head of a penis. 

We are details people, so we always want to use correct spelling on our sweary, but never nasty greetings cards.

But when we researched Knobhead vs. Nobhead, there was plenty of discussion, but a lack of conclusive evidence or data.

The Oxford Dictionary suggests Knobhead has been in use since the late 1700, but there are also plenty of examples of 'nob' and 'nobhead' in literature and popular culture. 

The Instagram account No Context Brits recently shared this post of a Henry Vacuum cleaner and used the term 'Nobhead'. 

 

Thanks for the tip Tara from the quiz team!

A well known example to people who grew up in the 1980s was Rik Mayall's student character  'Rick' in the TV comedy show 'The Young Ones'. He used the term 'Nobhead' liberally, even reading and quoting from a book called 'Swearing A Lot Makes Your Nob Grow Bigger' by Dr JB Strangetrousers.

So we decided to conduct our own research before committing to a spelling.

Sometimes words change their spelling over the decades. There might be regional differences. We had to find out for ourselves.

It was a fully anonymised survey. We asked the 221 survey respondents questions about where they lived, their age and gave an optional gender box. 

So here we are. The results of the 'Does the UK use the spelling or Knobhead or Nobhead survey - Jan 2026 - by Damn Fine Greetings'


Study: Does the British public use the spelling or Knobhead or Nobhead ?
January 2026, by Damn Fine Greetings 


Research conducted in January 2026 on behalf of Damn Fine Greetings to identify the most common spelling of knobhead / nobhead amongst the UK adult population.  

221 UK adults participated in the survey.
10 adults outside of the UK participated in the survey. 

Finding 1 - Knobhead is the most common spelling in the UK

Pie chart showing that Knobhead is the most common UK spelling with 80% stating they use it over 20% using Nobhead

Q: Do you spell it Nobhead or Knobhead?

80% of UK respondents stated that they spell it 'Knobhead'
20% of UK respondents stated that the spell it 'Nobhead'

Finding 2 - Knobhead is the most common spelling outside of the UK

Non UK respondents were from Bulgaria, Canada, Ireland, Poland, Portugal, South Africa, Spain and the USA. 

70% of Non-UK respondents stated that they spell it 'Knobhead'
30% of Non-UK respondents stated that they spell it 'Nobhead'

 

Finding 3 - The age range most likely to spell it Knobhead are 18 - 24 year olds

Bar chart showing age ranges of UK adults using the Knobhead over Nobhead. 100% of 18-24 years olds use nobhead.

100% of respondents aged 18 - 24 years stated that they spell it 'Knobhead'.

The age ranges most likely to spell it 'Knobhead' were 54 - 65 year olds (90%) followed by 65+ year olds (80%).


Finding 4 - The age range most likely to spell it Nobhead are 45 - 54 year olds

The age range with the greatest number of 'Nobhead' users was 45 - 54 year olds, with a total of 30% preferring this spelling. 


Finding 5 - Four UK regions lean significantly towards the use of Nobhead over Knobhead - North East of England, Northern Ireland, North West of England and West Midlands

 

A bar chart showing the UK regions that use Nobhead more frequently than Knobhead. These are The North East of England, Northern Ireland, The North West of England and the West Midlands.

The four UK regions who are most likely to spell it Nobhead are:
 
The North East of England - 73% Nobhead vs. 37% Knobhead
Northern Ireland - 67% Nobhead vs. 33% Knobhead
The North West of England - 60% Nobhead vs. 40% Knobhead
West Midlands - 55% Nobhead vs. 45% Knobhead 


Finding 5 - Knobhead has a 100% usage in Scotland and Wales

100% of survey respondents from Scotland and Wales stated that they used 'Knobhead' as their primary spelling. 


Finding 6 - Londoners are the next biggest users of Knobhead with 92%

92% of respondents from London stated that they used 'Knobhead' as their primary spelling with only 8% using 'Nobhead'.



Finding 7 - South West, South East and East of England adults stated a large majority preference towards the usage of the word Knobhead vs. Nobhead

A bar chart showing the UK regions that use Knobhead more than Nobhead. Scotland and Wales are at 100%. London at 92% and the South East of England, South West of England and East of England are all showing 85%.


85% of respondents from England's South West, South East and East regions stated that they used the spelling Knobhead vs. 15% using 'Nobhead'.

Finding 8 - East Midlands and Yorkshire and the Humber were the most divided regions in the 'Knobhead' vs. 'Nobhead' debate

75% and 64% of respondents from East Midlands and  Yorkshire and the Humber respectively stated that they used 'Knobhead' as their primary spelling with 25% and 36% using 'Nobhead'.

 

Finding 9 - UK men are the most divided about the spelling of 'Knobhead/Nobhead'

Gender was an open optional response box. However, the majority of respondents filled it in and we found that 30% of men who did stated a preference for using Nobhead vs. 70% Knobhead users.

15% of women who did stated a preference for using Nobhead vs. 85% Knobhead users and 100% of respondents who classified themselves as non binary responded that they use the spelling Knobhead.

Finding 10 - Respondents genuinely loved this 'Knobhead/Nobhead' debate

Thanks to everyone who took part in the survey. It has clearly given people a much-needed laugh. One of the survey respondents even said jokingly, "you are doing god's work".

Here are a few comments from respondents that we wanted to share because they made us smile.

"knobs are for your doors, nobs are for your drawers"
"More of this sort of thing"
"You’re a knobhead"
"I don’t think I ever wrote the word or though about the spelling of Knobhead before."
"I’ve got a friend that that I always called Nob head. He’s even changed his numberplate to it!"
"K for biscuits and doors, N for aristos and... Well... Nobs."
"I have spelt it both ways. But then I also spell ‘cunt’ with both a Capital and lower case ‘c’ dependent upon how much I think the individual qualifies this, the greatest term of endearment!"


So, what's the result for us and our sweary greetings card design?

Given that nearly 32% of the UK public spell it Nobhead, we simply couldn't ignore the data.

We opted to go with both designs.

love you knobhead written in purple on a yellow background on a sweary rude luxe greetings card

Love You Nobhead sweary rude hand lettering greetings card yellow background purple text

You can call it sitting on the fence. We prefer to call "hedging our Nobhead/Knobhead bets."

Find and buy both 'I love you Knobhead'  and 'I love you Nobhead' in our new Valentine's/Galentines/Love range of greetings cards. 

Or browse our full collection of sweary, but never nasty hand drawn lettering greetings cards. 


 

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